


The Pixie Police Patrol and The Gruesome Goblin Gods

by HunnieDae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alliteration, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Goblins, Alternate Universe - Pixies, Angst, Butt Plugs, Dubious Consent, Enemies, M/M, Porn With Plot, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Size Kink, Smut, fantasy sex toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-06-03 22:24:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19473427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunnieDae/pseuds/HunnieDae
Summary: The Pixie Police Patrol is full of courageous, ass-kicking, positively-perfect in every way, Pixies. The two newest recruits - although they may be pretty - are cowardly and pessimistic. The last thing they want to be do is patrolling the outskirts of Namanana to protect themselves and their clan from the ghoulish but gravely gorgeous Goblin Gods. The last thing they need is to let the Gods past them so they can harvest and gobble their Pixie loved ones and take them away to be sex slaves.These particular Goblin Gods are only interested in two Pixies. Ones they’ve been peeping and gawking at for their whole lives from afar.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of two AU ideas that I wasn’t meant to be releasing yet but as it’s becoming more and more apparent I have zero self control!
> 
> Hello everyone<3 
> 
> I keep writing bottom!baek and I actually see him as both a top and a bottom so wanted to give it a go to write his sultry, enticing top self into this fic and meet some lovely top!baek/bottom!yeol enthusiasts. The same goes for KaiSoo! 
> 
> Please enjoy the first chapter of this short fic:D x x x

If you searched the whole of Han River with a fine-toothed comb and a magnifying glass, it would still be practically impossible to find the tiny red wooden door that would give you entrance to the enchanting, peculiar world of Namanana. 

The skies there were always a perfect pink. Like candy floss. Like bubblegum. You could search every Mushroom House and only ever find laughing, lovable Pixies residing in them. The Mushroom Houses were grand, red and white spotty, beautifully formed. Just as everything was in Namanana.

The most picturesque thing, here though, was the Pixies themselves. Now, not to be a drag, but the Pixies could never understand where the wretched Humans got their ideas from. Pixies were small creatures, _yes_ , but in no way were they tiny. They were toned, muscular. Resembling that of Greek Gods. Perfection.

Over the Mushroom Hills and deep into the Blueberry Bushes. Two boys were acting like petulant, positively pouty Pixies. A look that was deemed blasphemous in Namanana. They had just found out they would be the representatives for each of their families in this years cohort for the Pixie Police Patrol. They had been prickly with one another all morning and it was beginning to cause problems.

“Hey! Don’t be such a peevish Pix! I’ve got to go through this too!” Jongin pouted and punched his best friend.

“Well... I don’t want to be a part of this! I’m a perfectly poor excuse for a Pixie!” Chanyeol replied with a punch to his best friends bare peck. 

Pixies only wore tutu’s in Namanana. Those with the most puffy tutu’s were the most popular with the clan elders. It was fair to say these boys tutu’s were pretty puffy, but their combat skills? Were pretty poor.

Jongin loved his pastel pink tutu and his pastel pink hair. It would be his colour for life. That’s how Pixie’s presented at sixteen years old. Their hair grew into it’s colour over night and that would be their identity for the rest of their time. Pretty pastel pink. It was perfect. 

Chanyeol wasn’t so sure about his pastel purple to begin with. He had hoped for emerald green or something deep and jewel-like, but of course, that wasn’t possible. Everything was painted with popping pastels here.

They didn’t want to be a part of the Pixie Police Patrol because it was ghoulish and ghostly and _god_ no good things happened on the patrol.

Humans were wrong about Pixies. But they were even more wrong about the things that made the patrol so grave. The Gruesomely, _Gorgeous_ Goblin Gods. Goblins were not gross, not one bit. They were gorgeous. Beautiful. Ethereal. And that made them gruesomely deadly. They would break into Namanana and grab as many Pixies as possible and grumble until they had enough. They would take the Pixies away to their own world, KoKoBop. Chanyeol laughed at it every time, thinking it sounded positively perverted, as though they were dying for sex. But the Goblins were. They stole the Pixies for their own pleasure. To use them as Sex Slaves. 

As far as the Pixies knew, the Goblins loved to make their assholes gape as they repeatedly ground their massive members into the protesting Pixies. It always made Jongin and Chanyeol gasp at the thought. 

“We are just going to have to go and prepare, Pix, there’s no other choice.” Jongin sighed as he adjusted his baby pink tutu. _Yes_ everything was on show under there, but it didn’t matter to the Pixies, they were all used to seeing each other’s dicks and balls and tits and whatever else dangling around, exposed. Pixies were perfectly open with their bodies. The tutu’s were just to look pretty. 

Chanyeol groaned and got up, grasping for the door of their Mushroom House and going outside. His pastel purple hair playfully pulsated in with winds gusts and they set off to start their ghastly patrol.

~~~~~~~~~

“Get up, Gob, I’ve got great gossip for you!” Kyungsoo was trying to giddily awake his grumpy best friend from his slumber. 

“Ugh! Get gone Gob! I want to go back to sleep.” Baekhyun groggily replied, grabbing for his best friends bare chest to push him away, not so gallantly. 

Kyungsoo grabbed his best friends gonads and gripped them tight. Baekhyun groaned and let his eyes open partly. 

“Go on.” He said with a gnarly rasp to his voice. 

“Guess which pretty Pixies are on the Pixie Police Patrol this year?” Kyungsoo jiggled his eyebrows up and down and poked his best friends side.

Baekhyun geared to get up and let his eyes go wide with shock. 

“Pretty pink and perky purple?” He gasped “Who told you?” 

“A Polly the Parrot passed on the message perfectly to me. But yes, the gorgeous Pixies that we have been peeping on for years. They’re on the patrol.” 

Baekhyun pushed himself up and pulled on his leather pants. He wore emerald green pants to match his emerald green locks. Like the Pixies, this was their colour presentation and it would be theirs forever. 

Kyungsoo wore a glistening gold pair of leather pants that matched his slicked back gold locks. 

They made their way over to the outskirts of Namanana, panting with the speed of their pace. 

“The prettiest Pixies on the planet. Just look at them. Their tutu’s are the puffiest I’ve ever had the pleasure of peeping on.” Kyungsoo peeled his lips into a perverted smile as he gawked at the Pixies. He loved that the tutu’s were see-through. After all, his favourite meal was Pixie penis. 

Baekhyun’s favourite meal though. Was Park Chanyeol. He had peeped on the Pixie for most of his life. Pleasured himself whilst he gazed at the Pixie from afar. What he wouldn’t give to be pounding into that Pixie body and making his asshole gape.

~~~~~~~~~

“Pix, they’re there!” Jongin pushed his friend behind a poppy plant and hissed out the words. His gut gurgled with fear.

“Where?!” Chanyeol tried to peak around the poppy plant but was pulled back by Jongin.

“What in the Namanana are you doing?! Why would you go and try peak at them?” Jongin pressed his friend plush against the poppy stem. Hoping the that Goblin Gods gawking eyes couldn’t get a look at them here. 

“I’m scared Pix, what if they grab us? Get us? Rape us? Gobble us up and get rid of our bodies?” Chanyeol’s eyes pooled with unshed tears. Grey taking over his purple features. If only the Pixie elders could see his grieving now, they would be positively appalled at him. 

“We have to stay strong Pix, we have to do the patrol. We can’t get thrown in prison! That would be worse than anything the Goblin Gods could do to us.” Jongin was shaking like a peony petal being blown around by gusts in a gale. But they had to do this. 

They proudly pranced out from behind the poppy plant like gazelles in golden sand dunes and approached the outskirts of Namanana to stand their ground. 

~~~~~~~~~

“Ugh, look at your Pixie penis, pretty pink. What I wouldn’t give the push my Goblin girth into your plush lips.” Kyungsoo groaned out, running his hand through his glistening gold hair and then dragging the hand down his bare, gorgeous abs. 

Jongin gasped at the Goblin Gods ghastly words. Goblins had incredibly large penises and Jongin knew he wouldn’t be able to handle one being pushed into his throat and having it pulsate in there. He was just a regular Pixie. Not one of those whorish pleasure Pixies like their friend Sehun. 

“G-go- ... Go away you Gruesome Goblins!” Chanyeol yelled with a high-pitched scream.

“You know you have to refer to us as God, perky purple Pixie. Have you forgone all good manners now, Pix?” Baekhyun let his gaze run down the Pixies body and puckered his plush lips into a kiss. He was going to enjoy playing with this one, finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I set myself up to perish using a lot of ‘p’ and ‘g’ words throughout the chapter to somehow get into the next two chapters? Positively yes. Great. 
> 
> The next two chapters will be full of Pixie X Goblin interactions and smut (or maybe the smut will be in the last chapter) and that is where the delicious things that are tagged come in :*
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts on this AU and what you would like top!baek to entail hehehe 
> 
> All my love, always 
> 
> Happy Thursday x x x


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers! I absolutely adored writing the alliteration for the first chapter and hope you enjoy reading it in this second instalment! 
> 
> Consent is definitely dubious here so read with care x x x

The Goblin Gods grotesquely goaded the Pixie Police Patrol Pixie’s for their entire shift. Teasing and taunting, telling the Pixie’s to pull up their tutus and tickle their testicles. Causing Chanyeol and Jongin to just shudder stupendously. 

“Let’s leave Pix!” Chanyeol whispered, willing his friend to want to wander away from the Gods.

“Going so soon, sexy?” Baekhyun beamed. He wanted that whimsical whore so bad. Wanted to wank over him and watch as his cum cascaded into every crevice of the Pixie’s pert, peachy ass.

“Don’t you dare call me that!” Chanyeol chorused as he moved manically away from the green Goblin. 

Baekhyun bustled over and looped his leg behind Chanyeol’s long limbs and lugged him forward until his he fell face down in the flowers. 

Chanyeol’s cute cheeks were on show as his tutu tipped upwards and revealed his stretched rim to the Goblin God. Chanyeol had a butt-bud stuck snug into his pretty Pixie pucker. 

“Well, well, well, would you look at that. What a lovely lily butt-bud you have shoved into your whorish hole.” Baekhyun leered loudly, laughing for emphasis and embarrassment. He kept Chanyeol knelt down in the flowers by his hands hooked over the boy’s hips.

“P-p-pervert!” Chanyeol cried. Wriggling and writhing to rid himself of Baekhyun’s hands and hurry away from him. It was hopeless. 

“You think I’m the pervert, perky purple? Oh no, not me. No. Your Pixie elders are entirely perverted. Paedophilic. Having you all heave yourselves over in front of their faces and finger yourselves open for them. Only to then shove a stupidly large lily butt-bud into your awaiting asshole. Why do you think they watch you, whore? They wank over you whilst your eyes are elsewhere.”

Jongin jumped backwards in surprise at the smutty slurs that were being said about their Pixie elders, only to land with a loud thud into Kyungsoo’s toned torso. Kyungsoo weaved his arms around the Pixie, wrapping them into place and keeping him held hard and close against his chest. 

Chanyeol gasped, he couldn’t believe the ghastly things the Goblin was groaning on about. The Pixie elders ensured they eyed the Pixie’s as they furiously fingered themselves to help them be healthy and happy. He was sure there was nothing sensual or slimy about it. Why else would they watch them?

“That’s not the truth!” 

“Oh yes it is, you beautiful, naive, _naughty_ Pixie. You’ve been letting those leering leeches drool over your pretty Pixie perky peach forever. Fingering your own hole horrifically for their perverted pleasure.” 

Baekhyun basked in the purple Pixie’s poor whimpers as he ran his fingers around the puffy rim where the butt-bud was stretching him salaciously.

“Stop struggling!” Kyungsoo seethed as he held Jongin in his hard grasp.

“Never! Not now, not ever. Get your grubby Goblin gangly fingers away from me!” Jongin moaned for mercy. Kyungsoo licked a long, luscious stripe up the length of Jongin’s neck and it made the perfect Pixie moan more. Moan for more. Pixie’s had little fight in their fickle frames. Instantly submitting to any sensual, teasing touches.

“Why don’t we get your Pixie penis standing up strong and proud for us? Hmm?” Kyungsoo purred into the Pixie’s ear. Enjoying the eruption of enticing mewls he could illicit from his pink Pixie at the thought of engorging his erection.

“D-don’t you dare do that to Jongin. Leave his lovely body alone!” Chanyeol cried out and tried to free himself from the tight hold of Baekhyun’s hands. 

“You should focus more on your own figure, what’s your name? Now you’ve sillily let your friends slip?” Baekhyun leant his body over Chanyeol’s long frame and made sure he was face-to-face with the furious Pixie. Letting his hard Goblin girth press into the butt-bud lewdly.

“Juicy Jongin. I like how that sounds slipping from my tongue.” Kyungsoo tentatively touched Jongin’s tush as he spoke, slurring out his seduction soundly. 

“Kyungsoo kindly won’t work his curved cock into your feeble friend if you just tell me your name.” Baekhyun boasted. As if they weren’t going to wreck the Pixie’s whether they liked it or not.

“Ch-Chanyeol. Call me Chanyeol.” He hurried out, hoping it would stop the golden Goblin from violating it vulnerable friend. 

“You can call me God.” Baekhyun goaded. Loving the luscious, luxurious powerful feeling he felt now, with the Pixie at his morbid mercy. 

“You’re lecherous! Let him go you gruesome Goblin God.” Jongin jostled himself in Kyungsoo’s arms. It just wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to get free. 

Baekhyun brushed his fingers around the butt-bud again and it made Chanyeol bark out a cry. Slumping forward and sobbing. 

“So sexy. Perky purple. Please, let me pleasure you.” Baekhyun pressed hard on the lily petals adding pressure to fuck the flower further into the Pixie’s pretty hole. “You make me so hard it hurts. Don’t you want me to delve my dick deep into you and make you gape gorgeously?” 

Chanyeol whimpered. Wishing his want away. But he couldn’t help but keen for the God. Pixie’s became pliant under power and dominance. He let his gaze wander to Jongin and was shocked to see his friend being whisked away by Kyungsoo’s whirlwind tongue. They were the Goblin God’s for the taking now. 

“Soak it in, sexy. He has submitted so easily. Such a slut. You should submit now. Do it. For me. Let me love your body until you beg for more. Beg for Baekhyun.”

“P-p-please pummel me. Pleasure my pretty ass and pull me apart bit by bit.” Chanyeol soared as he submitted fully to the Gods. Letting them lead him down a lust-filled trail to tantalising, tremendous sex. 

Jongin was laid on his back, long limbs spread lusciously over the lovely flowers underneath his body. Kyungsoo was knelt between the Pixie’s perfect legs, leering at the length of Jongin’s penis. 

“So cute. I could just chew it up and swallow it down with no care in the world.” Kyungsoo chuckled as he saw Jongin jump in shock. Scared that his cute cock was going to get gobbled by the Goblin. 

The gold Goblin God grasped Jongin’s knees and pushed them up until the Pixie was bent back in half. Holding him there so he could see the pink peony butt-bud proudly protruding from his pretty asshole. Kyungsoo stared in wonderment. Wanting to wank this whimsical needy nymph out of Namanana and into orgasmic oblivion. 

The Goblin Gods were ready. About to absolutely annihilate the Pixie’s awaiting assholes. They were going to give them the fucks of their fantastical lives. Relentlessly ramming into their rims at a resounding pace.

But first, foreplay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Butt-bud is my way of writing butt plug alliteratively and florally, I hope it was okay to read it that way and you understood the meaning!) 
> 
> Aghhh it’s literally so hard to get out of the funk of alliteration once I’ve started! I find myself writing and speaking alliteratively for so long after all of this! But I do love it so much, it so fun to write! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know what you think hehe 
> 
> Still trying my best to write Top!Baek and Top!Soo well, but this is new ground for me so please let me know how I’m doing if you get chance 
> 
> Happy Monday morning lovers x x x


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got round to writing the last chapter!
> 
> Jesus alliterative smut is hard! I really have tried to make this as funny/fun to read as possible, but we all knew that the smut was going to be the hardest part of this fic hahaha
> 
> I really do hope i've done a good job for you all here, it was so fun to write this fic! 
> 
> Enjoy, lovers x x x

Foreplay for Goblin Gods was seemingly simple. Especially when the pretty, submissive, slutty Pixie’s were part of the equation. 

They would just tease the Pixie’s testicles until they tensed up and tightened with terrible desperation. That’s what Kyungsoo was doing to Jongin. Just tentatively touching the beautiful balls with one hand, as the other kept the pink Pixie pressed in half. His tutu all tousled and tipped up for access. 

Baekhyun was still lent over Chanyeol’s cute frame. Fucking the flowery, floral, butt-bud in and out of his fluttering hole frantically. Desperate to plunge his Goblin girth into the purple Pixie’s pert, peachy, pucker.

“N-n-now. No more. N-need you,” Chanyeol wailed, wanting nothing more than for the Goblin to wreck him.

“Tut, tut. Terrible manners. If you need me, you know my name. Call me it? My cute Chanyeollie,” Baekhyun cooed. The caring tone didn’t match the monstrously powerful ministrations he was using to pleasure the Pixie’s body. 

“Oh, God! O-o-okay. Please, please, plummet me with your gorgeous Goblin girth. Please, God.” 

“Good boy. I am your God,’ Baekhyun chorused, continuing his constant charge of furious butt-bud fucking.

Chanyeol cautiously looked to his left and saw the salacious slide of Kyungsoo’s cock into Jongin’s juicy ass. The pink Pixie positively preened. Puckering his plush lips and pulling Kyungsoo forward to press their mouths together and let them mould against each other. The perfect, perky, purple Pixie must have missed the erotic escalation of his friend’s ministrations as he was too enraptured with his own hardcore hammering. 

Jongin jostled and bounced up and down the flowerbed as Kyungsoo forced his way into the Pixie’s awaiting asshole. The pretty Pixie blabbered and blundered as the Goblin gripped behind his head and pulled him forward and rested their foreheads together. So Kyungsoo could stare sultrily into the dark depths of Jongin’s sheepish, but beautiful brown eyes. Leaving Jongin’s head to whirl and hang in the air in his grasp as his Pixie body writhed in pleasure. The Goblin grinded into the gorgeous Pixie at an unforgiving pace. Grunting and growling as he fucked forward, praising the floral butt-bud for stretching him so well. 

“How is your tush still so tight?” the golden Goblin groaned as he gushed precum into the Pixie’s pucker. 

“Don’t be so dastardly!” Jongin denounced, but quickly got lost in the lusciously lewd way the Goblin was wrecking his lithe frame. Hard. Heady. Heaving moans from the pretty Pixie and pleasuring him past the point of return. 

Back to Baekhyun, the Goblin gripped the lovely lily butt-bud and began to prise it from the purple Pixie’s behind. Finally. He would finally get to fuck the perky purple Pixie ass that he has been peeping on for his entire existance. The Pixie elders may have done everything in their power to push the Goblin Gods away, but now, he would have his way with the one that caused his brain to wrack with want. 

There was no telling how much the Pixie wanted to beg and plead and push the Goblin into pleasuring his body beyond measure. But he waited, like the good boy he was. Waited and waited, actually, he wondered what was going on and when he turned he saw him. Saw the Goblin God gawking at the way his asshole gaped, waiting to be filled and fucked. 

“Why- What.. Will you…” Chanyeol’s questions were cut off by his own wail as Baekhyun plunged his hard Goblin girth into the Pixie’s asshole without warning. His hips hitting the Pixie’s plush tush as he went straight in to the hilt. 

The pair of Pixie’s let out a string of moans simultaneously as their Goblin’s pumped into their prostates with perfect precision. The butt-bud’s never felt _this_ good. This was pleasing beyond the Pixie’s wildest dreams. Definitely better than finger fucking themselves in front the the Pixie elders. 

Jongin and Chanyeol locked lust filled eyes with each other. They couldn’t look elsewhere. Only at one another's body’s being ravished by the Goblin’s. Green and gold. Gorgeous. The two Pixie’s never expected to be so pornographic. So erotic with each other. But it was hot. So sexy seeing their best friends body get ravished and railed. The Goblin’s smirked at each other salaciously. So happy with this slutty turn of events. Pixie’s and voyeurs? Very naughty, Very naughty, indeed. 

“Are you just watching Jongin, perky purple? Don’t you care about my cock? Baekhyun leered lewdly as he thrusted like a tyrant. 

Chanyeol closed his eyes tight. Terrible guilt gushing over him at enjoying the erotically enticing view just as much as he was enjoying Baekhyun battering his ass with steady spanks. It made the Pixie mewl and moan out, as his cute hole clenched around the Goblin girth. 

The duo’s fucked for what felt like hours. Until the Pixie’s were panting out and gaping wide. Until the Goblin’s felt the need to cum coursing through their veins. Virtually desperate with desire to end this with a big _bang_.

In sync, the Goblins commanded the Pixie’s to cum. Dared them to release and orgasm as they cried out in complete bliss.

Again, less awkwardly, the Pixie’s locked eyes and stared at each other as they cummed and choursed out simultaneous, slutty wails. Their body’s wrecked so sweetly by the Goblin Gods. Loving looking at each other as the cummed and climaxed together.

The oversensitivity kicked in as Kyungsoo piledrived into his pink Pixie and let his climax wash over him as he cummed into Jongin with a cry. 

Baekhyun wasn’t far behind. Pushing into Chanyeol’s ruined rim with one last deep thrust and spurting streams of semen into his tight, whorish hole. 

They pulled out of the Pixie’s and watched as semen began to seep from their gaping entrances.. The Goblin Gods gathered it back up with their gangly fingers and plunged it back inside before pushing the butt-bud’s back into place, so their cum could stay nestled naughtily inside. 

“What was all that about, hmm? Looking longingly into each other’s eyes? Do you not want us to wreck you? Do you want to wreck one another instead?” Kyungsoo questioned as he let his body bounce down onto the flowers where they had just fucked. 

Baekhyun cackled as the two Pixie’s blushed hard. Unfortunately, Pixie’s weren’t allowed to be lovers. The Pixie elders told them their bodies should remain pure and unscathed. Well, what would they say now, after being rammed into oblivion by these obnoxiously sweet Goblin Gods?

Baekhyun cuddled Chanyeol’s frame to his chest as it was clear the Pixie was soaring so high that he might never come back down. The green Goblin soothed and cooed, showing a different side to himself than before. 

The Pixie’s had a lot to think through. Were the Pixie elders paedophiles and perverts? Did they desire each other’s pretty, devilish bodies? 

But _mostly_ , 

Were the Goblin God’s as gruesome and ghoulish as they had been led to believe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh! I would like to take a moment to thank you all for reading this weird idea that I decided to challenge myself with! Your comments have been lovely and I can't thank you enough for validating me on this strange alliterative journey. I really appreciate you baring with me whilst I challenge myself with these silly endeavours and develop my writing skills! Its not perfect, but I'm trying so hard to make sure all my works are different and enjoyable :D this was entirely unbeta’d and on crack and it makes me feel all fuzzy inside that you were all so kind, even if there is most likely a lot of inaccuracies in here 
> 
> This is my first ever completed fic!!! *CHEERS* I am over the moon!
> 
> I am going to reveal a little spoiler here. I would like to continue challenging myself with this love affair with alliteration and have got another fic in the works. It will have an entirely different theme but the alliteration will be there. 
> 
> Here's the spoiler, the title is.... *drum rolls*
> 
> "The Secret Student Sex Society"
> 
> heheheheh please, if you have enjoyed this fic, wait for me! There will be new characters and a new plot but of course, there will be smut!
> 
> Thank you so much, lovely readers, you make me so happy. 
> 
> Happy Friday babies!
> 
> Until next time x x x

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please comment if you get chance, I’ll always be thankful and reply. Kudos make me smile lots, if you think they’re deserved :) x x x


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